


How To Lose Your Virginity: Socially Stunted Ranger Edition

by artimusdin, missixo



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: And yet I can see it occurring, Because children that grow up in wars have serious issues, M/M, Sentinel AU, StrikerEurekaTech knows this is a thing, Technically part of a, and it ended up as crack, as they were watching as it came into being, that poor person, this started as crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:43:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artimusdin/pseuds/artimusdin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/missixo/pseuds/missixo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Losing your virginity shouldn't be this fuckin' <i>hard</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How To Lose Your Virginity: Socially Stunted Ranger Edition

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fate Has A Fucked-Up Sense of Humor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1010684) by [artimusdin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/artimusdin/pseuds/artimusdin), [missixo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missixo/pseuds/missixo), [StrikerEurekaTech (purplexeyed)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplexeyed/pseuds/StrikerEurekaTech). 



**Plan A** :

_Step 1_ : Wear his clothing.

_Step 2_ : Wear his clothing while teasing the shit out of him.

_Step 3_ : Give him back-rubs, wearing his clothing, and rubbing yourself all over him.

_Step 4_ : Move the back-rubs to his territory/bedroom.

_Step 5_ : Lock the door to said territory to ensure privacy.

_Step 6_ : Sit on his lap while rubbing his shoulders/neck.

_Step 7_ : Move to straddle his ass while rubbing the tension out of his shoulders so he’s nice and relaxed. Hope he doesn’t fall asleep because of his insomnia.

_Step 8_ : Take his shirt off (if he hasn’t already. If he has, go for his pants)

_Step 9_ : Get the cream the Russians got for his scars, and pay attention to them. Because ow, but he survived. Kiss him silly.

_Step 10_ : Get to the sex.

_Step 11_ : Curse as you remember you forgot the lube. Remember the cream. No, bad idea, cream is absorbed into the skin.

_Step 12_ : Vaseline is an acceptable substitute when desperate.

_Step 13_ : Want to cry as someone knocks on the door.

_Step 14_ : Tell em to fuck off, you’re about to get fucked.

_Step 15_ : Curse when Marshall Pentecost answers.

_Step 16_ : Ask him to KINDLY fuck off. Sir.

_Step 17_ : Realize the mood is gone when Raleigh falls off the bed from laughing. Feels it was a good day anyways, as any day Raleigh is laughing is a good day. Even if he didn’t get laid. Again. Damnit.

_Step 18_ : Try again later, hopefully with better results.

**Plan C :**

_Step 1_ : Recruit Moira and Mako into keeping everyone otherwise occupied, to ensure the plan is successful.

_Step 2_ : Remember to bring the lube this time.

_Step 3_ : And condoms. Just in case.

_Step 4_ : And to lock the door again.

_Step 5_ : Find sound proof room if possible. Realize there are none that are available. Start debating how, exactly, to sound proof Raleigh’s room.

_Step 6_ : Egg cartons. All over the walls.

_Step 7_ : Realize that is the most unsexy setting ever. Revise plan.

_Step 8_ : Dammit getting sex should NOT be this difficult!

_Step 9_ : Fuck it. We’re getting a hotel room.

_Step 10_ : Shit. Paparazzi.

_Step 11_ : Figure out a Plan E… Or would it be Plan H now?

**Plan M** :

_Step 1-8_ : Lost during maneuvers.

_Step 9_ : Reviews are in - Sex in the shower is amazingly hot (literally). Hard as hell, pardon the pun, but hot. It sucks when the hot water goes off right before you do though.

_Step 10_ : Sliiiide to the left. To the next showerhead.

_Step 11_ : Realize the water for that shower head comes from the same boiler. Shit. Turn water off and go go go.

_Step 12_ : Finally had sex.

**Congratulations, _no longer a virgin_! **


End file.
